Random Muppet #30: Santa Claus

On the Muppet Wiki, there is a "Random Muppet" button which sends you to the page of one of the thousands of Muppets in existence. I will press the button and discuss the importance of the Muppet that comes up, no matter how obscure. No skips. No redos. This is the Random Muppet Challenge.

(This week is the special Christmas Edition. For Christmas.)

Random Muppet #30: Santa Claus

Must be Santa Claus.

Performer:  Various

Muppet Universe of Origin:  Sesame Street

Most Significant Appearance:  Weihnachten mit Ernie & Bert, December 24, 2008

Santa Claus has appeared in many Muppet-related Christmas specials, but most of those appearances have been in human form.  Occasionally, other established Muppets portray Santa to serve the purposes of the story.  But Santa himself has only appeared as a Muppet a few times.  Outside of a couple Sesame Street News Flashes, Santa Claus (the Muppet) was most prominently featured in 2008's Sesamstraße special Weihnachten mit Ernie & Bert.

Of course there are rubber duckies and paper clips in their tree.

The special is essentially a collection of Sesame Street clips surrounded by a framing story that awkwardly sets up each one.  It'd be fine if they used Christmas related clips but instead they choose traditional holiday topics like "squirrels collecting nuts" or "high-quality fashion."  Anyway, aside from these deviations, the basic story concerns Ernie and Bert preparing their German holiday getaway for the arrival of Santa Claus, as many do on Christmas Eve.

You know, like cleaning the chimney.

Throughout the evening, an old man (dressed in white and red) keeps trying to come inside from the freezing weather, but Ernie keeps turning him away because there is no time for visitors!  So yes, throughout the special, Ernie forbids a slowly dying Santa Claus from entering his house.  Finally, Bert puts an end to this madness and lets Santa inside.

You have made a powerful friend this year, Bert.  Ernie, a powerful enemy.

Ernie revitalizes Santa with a "Christmas nut" (see, now the squirrel segment makes sense) and Santa delivers their gifts: paper clips for Ernie and a rubber ducky for Bert!

...Yeah, they broke Santa Claus.

Why Is He the Most Important Muppet?  What Is the True Meaning of Christmas?

Santa Claus, as you may well know, is an amalgamation of several figures from various European histories and mythologies.  Despite qualms that Santa is a secular figure, his namesake, the gift-giving St. Nicholas, was a very devout Christian.  Combined with pagan traditions and lore, as well as popular works from modern authors (and Coca-Cola campaigns), Santa Claus emerged as the immortal, wish-granting, world-travelling demigod that he is today.

Every story has a different interpretation of the character, and this special highlights Santa's more human qualities.  He is an old man who can succumb to extreme temperatures.  He can suffer brain damage.  He is not as powerful as we once thought.

But at the heart of this story is the truth about Santa Claus and every character like him: he needs people  in order to survive.

Although it is Ernie that nearly sends him to an early grave, he is also the one who saves his life.  Santa may have all the best abilities in the world, but without people around to keep him in existence, he will die away.

Santa is the most well known fictional character that we as a species actually feel the need to convince younger generations that he is real.  There are a lot of reasons as for why this is the case (most of them financial), but none of them matter.  The fact that we can collectively decide to perpetuate a character's existence is astonishing.

What would happen if Santa Claus died?  It would have to be a conscious effort on humanity's part at this point to kill off this god among fictional men.  Ernie and Bert came close.  But fortunately, they are fictional too.

And Muppets never die.

Random Muppet #20: Christopher Columbus

On the Muppet Wiki, there is a "Random Muppet" button which sends you to the page of one of the thousands of Muppets in existence. I will press the button and discuss the importance of the Muppet that comes up, no matter how obscure. No skips. No redos. This is the Random Muppet Challenge.

Although, today, I cheated.

Random Muppet #20: Christopher Columbus

The man who "discovered" America.

Performer:  Jerry Nelson

Muppet Universe of Origin:  Sesame Street

Most Significant Appearance:  Sesame Street, December 20, 1974, "Episode 0700"

In addition to interviewing fairy tale characters, Kermit the Frog took his "Sesame Street News Flash" segment into the past to interview historical figures.  This time, he travels to the year 1492 to watch Christopher Columbus as he sets sail from Spain.  The segment is mostly a lesson in subtraction (as each of Columbus's three ships leave port), but there is another lesson being taught here, one that perpetuates lies and falsehoods.

Why is He the Most Important Muppet?

History is written by the winners.

When we hear the name "Christopher Columbus," the first fact that comes to mind is that he discovered America.

Here is what's wrong with that fact:

- He didn't discover America.  Native Americans already lived on the continent.

- He wasn't even the first European explorer to set foot in the Americas.

- He never made it to North America, which features the country commonly referred to as "America."  He remained in Central America, and first visited the islands of the West Indies (a.k.a. the Caribbean).

- He wasn't even trying to discover America.  He was heading for Asia, specifically India.

Yet, despite all this, Kermit introduces Christopher as the man who will discover America, and Columbus concurs.  History has been changed and simplified to the point where our children are being fed false information. (Also, Kermit and Columbus keep talking about pizza, which was invented in Italy, not Spain, in the 16th Century, but now we're just nitpicking).

Nonetheless, the man has become famous for something he didn't do.  Columbus did, however, spark the European exodus that led to many more people traveling west, so it seems as if he was the first in that sense.  But as history changes through the telephone game of life, the truth becomes foggy and settles in to what is easiest for us to remember.

So, what is history, if not the truth?  And if we accept the lies as the reality, doesn't that make it so?

Columbus may not have discovered America.  But he discovered America close enough.

Random Muppet #10: Old MacDonald

On the Muppet Wiki, there is a "Random Muppet" button which sends you to the page of one of the thousands of Muppets in existence. I will press the button and discuss the importance of the Muppet that comes up, no matter how obscure. No skips. No redos. This is the Random Muppet Challenge.

Random Muppet #10: Old MacDonald

A Scottish farmer that longs for a break in the norm.

Performer:  Richard Hunt/Martin P. Robinson/Joey Mazzarino

Muppet Universe of Origin:  Sesame Street

Most Significant Appearance:  Sesame Street, March 23, 1988, "Episode 2448"

Like most nursery rhyme characters, Old MacDonald was a recurring guest on Sesame Street, particularly during the "News Flash" segments.  Kermit would appear, hoping to observe the usual goings-on down on the farm.  However, he would find that things aren't always as he expects, such as the time he discovered that Old MacDonald turned his farm into an animal health spa.

But Kermit's strangest visit concerned Old MacDonald's new addition to his farmstead.  Amongst the cows and ducks and pigs, MacDonald discovered a spaceship!  When it is revealed to be a big misunderstanding, MacDonald's theories are proven correct as his farm is finally visited by actual Yip Yip Martians!

Why Is He the Best Muppet?

Old MacDonald is bored with life.  He is caring towards his animals and doesn't shirk his responsibilities.  But it seems he was not cut out to be a farmer.  Between starting a health spa and managing a swine pop rock group, MacDonald does whatever he can to add some excitement into his world.  So, of course he gets swept up in the notion that there is life in outer space attempting to communicate with us.

Although they are less prevalent today, stories about alien abductions seemed to be heavily concentrated in sparsely populated areas, such as old country farms.  Cow mutilations and crop circles are commonly dubbed supernatural occurrences in these areas.  Being a lonely farmer, hearing all of these stories can cause one's mind to wander.  As soon as MacDonald catches a glimpse of the slightest unusual affair, he leaps to the conclusions that it must be aliens.  He alerts the news and proudly shows off his discovery, only to be proven wrong by the more educated sources.

Then, his prayers are answered as new life-forms appear at his home, on camera no less!

E-I-E-I-OMG!

The arrival of these creatures don't just legitimate his beliefs, they prove that the universe is filled with possibilities.  He may have grown up a farmer, but he doesn't have to live the life of a farmer.  With his newfound fame and glory, he can do whatever he wants.

In life, we have to forge our own paths.  Otherwise, we'll be stuck with all of the boring talking animals and monsters like regular folk.

Ho-hum, another average day inside a trippy parallel dimension.

*      *      *

Astute observers may have noticed another Old MacDonald making appearances on Sesame Street.  This man is an impostor and is wanted for property damage and failure to keep animals on a leash.

He was last seen taking a wife in the dell.  Reports confirm that the cheese stands alone.

Random Muppet #4: Natalie the Cow

On the Muppet Wiki, there is a "Random Muppet" button which sends you to the page of one of the thousands of Muppets in existence. I will press the button and discuss the importance of the Muppet that comes up, no matter how obscure. No skips. No redos. This is the Random Muppet Challenge.

Random Muppet #4: Natalie the Cow

The cow that boldly went where no cow has gone before.

Performer: Jerry Nelson

Muppet Universe of Origin: Sesame Street

Most Significant Appearance: Sesame Street, December 12, 1974, "Episode 0694"

During the "Sesame Street News Flash" segments, reporter Kermit the Frog would visit a well-known fairy tale, fable, or nursery rhyme in order to get the inside scoop of what really occurred in these familiar stories. One day, he found himself in the middle of "Hey Diddle Diddle," just as the cow prepared for it's famous moon jumping. Kermit briefly interviewed Natalie the cow, as well as her manager, the fiddle-playing cat. Despite Kermit's lack of faith that the feat could be accomplished, Natalie leapt away and managed to impress the crowd with her extraterrestrial accomplishment.

Bovine history in the making.

After a nail-biting re-entry, Natalie returned to Earth, safe and sound, and she would forever go down in history as the cow who jumped over the moon.

Why Is She the Best Muppet?

Cows are simple creatures. They spend their entire lives eating grass and producing milk, providing a valuable service, but never amounting to greatness. The most famous cow is probably Mrs. O'Leary's cow whose claim to fame was knocking over the lantern that started the Great Chicago Fire of 1971. And that was just an accident. This cow didn't seek or desire fame. She was just a bystander, content with her life and suddenly forced into the history books by way of a freak accident.

Natalie also started as yet another nameless cow, bound to a life of obscurity and insignificance. But, like all great Muppets, Natalie was a dreamer. She was going to do something big. Something that would not only set her apart from other cows, but would set her apart from all other Earthlings.

 

She would no longer be just that random cow on the Farmer Grover jigsaw puzzle.

When Kermit asks her why she would even consider jumping over the moon, Natalie retorts with George Mallory's famous response to the question about his reason for climbing Mt. Everest:

"Because it's there."

Isn't that the whole reason man also traveled to the moon? Every night, our ancestors looked to the skies, looking at the great celestial beast that was always out of reach. To be able to say that you have kissed the surface of the moon is an incredible distinction. It's something that was once thought impossible, except to the dreamers. There is a Ray Bradbury anecdote making the rounds lately, in which he called up random people that he had met at a function many years earlier who ensured him that man would never walk on the moon. On the night of the moon landing, he called them to revel in their stupidity and narrow-mindedness. To the unintelligent, the smart appear crazy. Fortunately, Natalie didn't listen to her naysayers.

She went on to explain that she wanted to prove to all other cows that they can do anything they set their minds to. She doesn't just want glory. She wants to be a role model, inspiring everyone she represents. All the cows watching at home were changed that day. They finally saw one of their own making a difference, doing the impossible.

And then, without a moment's hesitation, as the cat's fiddle fiddled the "Wild Blue Yonder," she took off.

 

It's the Final Cowntdown!

No one knows exactly how she did it, or why she was so strong. Perhaps she herself didn't know what would happen. But she tried. And the results were miraculous.

That's one giant leap for a cow and one giant leap for cowkind.

While "the cow who jumped over the moon" is a familiar phrase in folklore, it wasn't until Sesame Street that we really understood what that fantastical phrase entailed. Behind that simple line lay a story of determination, resolve, and empowerment. Here was someone who didn't let any barriers stand in her way, whether they be dictated by her species, her gender, or the laws of physics. She aimed for a goal and reached it.

The cow jumped over the moon, and came back a hero.