The Dark Crystal, Part 5: Destiny Fulfilled

This is it.  The final showdown.  Good vs. evil.  Who will prevail?

(Hint: It's a kids movie.)

(Also, SPOILERS!)

Enjoy your last moments of existence, boys!

As everyone gets into position, Kira spots Jen from across the room and tosses him the crystal shard.  They attract the attention of the Skeksis who alert the Garthim.  Backed into a corner by the bugs, Jen jumps from a conveniently placed platform onto the Dark Crystal, but he drops the shard in the process!

He couldn't hold on to it for one freaking second!  Girl's gotta do all the work!  

Kira glides down to return it to him and succeeds in doing so.  However, the Emperor stabs her in the back, killing her.

"My only regret was not being born with quicker reflexes!"

For some reason, everyone stops what they are doing, to contemplate the weight of this situation, I guess.  This gives Jen plenty of time to restore the Crystal.  It becomes Pure once again and causes the walls of the castle to crumble, revealing the bright crystal structure underneath.  This is another one of those really cool scenes that's made even better knowing how it was done.  Basically, there was only one take to set up all of the explosives just right.  It took down the whole set to reveal the prettier set underneath and fortunately, they got it right on the first try.

And He saw that it was good.

Everything starts going back to normal.  The Podling slaves get their minds back.  The...Podling slaves regain their souls.  Um...the Podlings are de-zombified....  Okay, so only one thing really happens.

And there was much rejoicing.

Jen runs over to cry over Kira's body.  Because they are in love.

Who cares that the universe is being fixed?  What about MY universe?

The Mystics all surround the Crystal, which shoots beams of light through them to attract the Skeksis.

It's all starting to make sense now!

The Mystics and Skeksis bond, forming the Urskeks once more.

Just when the movie couldn't get any creepier...

The Urskeks thank the Gelflings for their courage and sacrifice and as a bonus, restore Kira to life.

Only the good die young and are resurrected shortly thereafter.

The Urskeks then depart and leave the Gelflings to start repopulating the world, lest it become overrun with Podlings.

And they all lived happily ever after!

So ends The Dark Crystal.  An ambitious film that Henson hoped would change the face of cinema forever.  Was it successful?  Well...it depends on who you ask.

At the time, critics were fond of it, due to the visual marvels unlike any movie which had come before it. It's box office performance was a bit lackluster, due to the fact that it could not really find an audience.  It was marketed towards children, but the themes were very mature and the characters were scary and grotesque.  There is little by way of action or humor, so few children could sit through it easily.  As for the adults...they found it to be too childish.  It's a weird movie that exists for everyone and no one at the same time.  (Also, it had to compete with E.T. and apparently audiences could only handle one creepy-looking, long-fingered, rubber hero at a time.)

Because Henson set his sights so high, he was bound to fall at some point.  He flaunted the fact that he only cared about the setting and that the story and characters were secondary to him and it certainly shows.  The plot is straightforward and unoriginal and the characters lack personality and the motor-skills necessary to convey emotion properly.  This was Henson's first attempt at breaking away from his cartoonish Muppets in order to create realism, but unfortunately, he could not recapture that spark that he put into his former abstract puppets.  He had created an art form by being able to portray numerous emotions using only one hand inside of a sock.  Even though Kermit the Frog is "simple" he is moldable.  

The Gelflings are not.  Kira looks okay and, at certain angles, Jen isn't too bad.  But their wide-eyed dopey gazes drive home the fact that these are not living creatures, even though they are supposed to be our human connection to the story.

The Skeksis, on the other hand, look phenomenal.  Villains are always more fun, and the Skeksis are no exception.  But while they were blessed with good-looks, they were gypped in the dialogue department. Having them speak broken English hampered their threatening influence and just made them all seem quite inept.  The only character worth following was the Chamberlain, and it was nice to see at least one of the characters have some depth and complexity.  I wish he had played more of a role towards the end of the movie (i.e. he should have been the one to kill Kira).  After he goes back to the group, he falls into the background.  There could have been more ambiguity to his morality as well.  I liked him so much because I never knew what he was going to do.  But as soon as he betrayed the Gelflings, he became no different than the other Skeksis.  Maybe that was the point, but it seemed more like a lack of attention.

I know that this movie took five years to make, but it would have greatly benefited from being much longer, like a true epic.  The story could stay as is, but more time could have been spent developing the characters, rather than have them be cogs in this storytelling machine.  In one interview, Frank Oz gushes over the character of Aughra, noting how "beautiful" she is.  Of course she's grotesque, but he is referring to the amount of detail spent in crafting her appearance.  Had they spent as much time with her personality as they did with her look, I would have agreed with him.

The movie gets by on it's appearance, and Henson at least succeeded in crafting a fully realized world.  It seems like this is his Avatar, which was so focused on the visuals that they forgot to work on the story.  Sadly, Henson missed another crucial point in world-building.  It should be a place that the audience would like to visit.  I'm not saying all movie worlds should be ideal utopias.  Many films with bleak fully-realized worlds are great because the story centers on the corruption (like Blade Runner).  But for a kids film, make it a place kids want to go to.  They can have bleak elements, like Fantasia from The Never-Ending Story or Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, but there should be some whimsy to it as well.  The world of Thra, as depicted in this movie, consists of desolate deserts, barren mountains, slimy swamps, run-down villages constantly under threat of monsters, and hellish dungeons.  Yes, the world is supposed to be in disarray due to the Skeksis' rule, but it can at least be beautiful in it's ugliness.

To end things on a positive note, I appreciate Henson's attempt at creating a new mythology.  Having the good urHu and the evil Skeksis forever linked was a good choice and it was not like any fantasy movie I had ever seen before.  Some movies imply that good cannot exist without evil, but this one was so upfront about it that it was impressive.  For example, when one Skeksis is destroyed in a boiling pit, his Mystic counterpart spontaneously combusts as his brethren look on in contempt.  That's cool!  That's interesting!  More of that please!  Fortunately, the world of The Dark Crystal does live on in manga and there is a sequel in the works!

They actually make the Gelflings look normal!  And is that the Chamberlain I see?

Jim Henson had many good instincts and ideas in creating the world of Thra.  And his attention to detail paved the way for the Jim Henson Creature Shop, which went on to produce many more movies and television shows, and it continues to help out in providing puppets and animatronics for numerous other productions (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, anyone?).

If his movie suffered from anything, it was that it felt incomplete.  There is more to explore and discover.  We want to return as soon as it's over.  And in that regard, the film is a success.

The Dark Crystal, Part 4: Darkest Before the Storm

Despite the endless possibilities of letting someone as cool as the Chamberlain join his posse, Jen refuses the Skeksis' offer and hightails it out of the ruins with Kira.  She decides to join him on his quest to the castle and reveals transportation method to cut down their questing time:  Landstriders!

Those bats think they're horses!

Kira calls over two of the stilt-walkers draped in fabric with her ability to speak Monstrosity.  Together, the two Gelflings head straight for the castle.

Speaking of the castle, one of the Skeksis decides that now is the best time to show the audience how the Dark Crystal works exactly.  He takes a Podling from a cage and straps it into a device similar to that from A Clockwork Orange.

Except there is no head restraint or eye-lid holder, meaning the victim has to be willing to be lobotomized.

The Skeksis explains, to no one in particular, that this room is situated beneath the Dark Crystal and with a mirror, they can shine the light from the Crystal directly into the Podling's eyes, draining him of his life essence.  This will turn him into a soulless zombie, able to do the bidding of his masters.

I CAN SEE FOREVER!

The liquid life essence drips into a vial, which is offered to the new Emperor to restore his youth.  Unfortunately, Podling essence is not as long-lasting as Gelfling-essence because Gelflings are surperior.

Potatoes are not known for being juicy.

This scene lasted just long enough to allow our heroes to reach the castle, which is guarded by Garthim.  They immediately attack the intruders and in a difficult-to-choreograph-fight-sequence, both of the Landstriders lose their lives.

Really, all they take is a slight push and they're down for good.

The Garthim back our heroes up against the edge of a cliff.  All hope seems lost when suddenly, Kira grabs Jen and jumps!  It's okay though, because she has wings.  Clearly, all girl Gelflings have wings, Kira points out condescendingly to Jen, despite the fact that just yesterday she learned that there was another Gelfling in the universe so why would she suddenly know the difference between male and female Gelflings?

Um, these would have been a huge help BEFORE our Landstriders were eaten!

Frodo and Sam make their way into Mordor through the back entrance at the base of the cliff and once again run into the Chamberlain.  I would make another nitpick about how they had previously ditched him at the ruins and travelled on swiftly moving animals and somehow he caught up with them easily, but that doesn't matter because the Chamberlain is the best!

By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.

The Chamberlain makes one last appeal for peace and Jen again refuses and attacks him with the crystal!  So it's understandable that he would get rid of Jen by crushing him with a pile of rocks and kidnapping Kira to present to the Skeksis!  He reveals to his former brethren that he has captured the last Gelfling and she is to be sentenced to death!  However, the vain Emperor decides to strap her to the Life-Sucker so he can remain youthful.  Either way, the Chamberlain is welcomed back into the clan and all is forgotten.  But I can't help but wonder if he is aware of the possibility that Jen and Kira may possibly escape.  You never know with this guy.

That crafty bastard.

In the dungeon, Kira is hooked up to the Crystal and the life-draining begins.  While the obvious solution to the situation would be "close your eyes," Kira is cursed with her genetic face-paralysis that afflicted her throughout the film.  So it seems as if all hope is lost.

Curse my creator!  Curse Wendy Midener!

But wait!  Kira has the power to summon animals, remember?  I mean, we've only seen her call the Landstriders once...and she said the Podlings taught her (so why the Podlings never tried this trick before I'll never know).  Anyway, by using the Force, Jen and the caged Aughra tell Kira to use that Thornberry power of hers to free herself.  She dolittles up a frenzy among all the creatures in the dungeon so that they swarm her captor and knock him into the endless abyss where the Dark Crystal resides.

Jen, tired of being trapped by rocks, stumbles into a Garthim nest, which happens to be right next to the Crystal pit.  They destroy part of the wall, and he shimmies up the shaft to escape.

Jen's ascent from Hell

He had better hurry because the Mystics have finally made their way to the castle.  Using their Jedi mind tricks, they are able to saunter past the guards with ease.

It's okay.  We're with the band.

Jen finally makes his way to higher ground where he sees the three suns of Thra converging. He knows his story is about to come to a close.

This is some trippy stuff, man.

The Mystics have arrived, the Skeksis are taking their places, and the suns are in formation.  Come back tomorrow for the conclusion of The Dark Crystal to see if the prophecy comes to light.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN!!!

The Dark Crystal, Part 3: You Are Not Alone

The Gelflings reunited.

There is a new Gelfling!  And it is a girl!  Imagine if you spent your whole life as the only one of your species and suddenly you discovered that there is another one just like you of the opposite sex.  What would be the first thing you'd do?  The correct answer is Dreamfast!

Despite its name, Dreamfasting involves neither dreams, nor fasting.  It is more like a blending of memories between two people at once.  It should really be called a Thoughtbinge.

As the two Gelflings grab hands, they each reveal their side of the story.  After the Skeksis destroyed their clan, baby Jen was adopted by the Mystics and baby Kira (the girlfling) was found by the Podlings.  She grew up with them, aware of the Skeksis threat, but unaware of the mythology of the world.  Kira decides to take Jen to her home, along with her ball-dog Fizzgig.

I am a mockery of life.

Meanwhile, in the Castle Grayskull, the Skeksis are enjoying a well-deserved feast in an excruciatingly long eating scene that rivals that of Tom Jones.

Come for the atmosphere, stay for the buffet!

Their spread is interrupted by the arrival of the Garthim who present their capture of Aughra.  She yells at them for getting her involved in their silly dispute and then warns them that the prophecy spells out their demise and they have done nothing but act foolishly.  The Emperor then sends out his Crystal Bats who can report back to the castle with better results than the mindless Garthim.  One manages to spot our two new friends sharing an intimate musical moment.

We're on a boat!

This river scene goes by in half a minute, but behind the scenes, this was one of the hardest shots to film.  With multiple animals on the riverside and a huge tank of water, this was highly difficult for the puppeteers to perform.  Because so much effort went into it, I felt it was only right to acknowledge that for a moment.

The two Gelflings are forming a fast bond over the fact that they can barely move their mouths, but they seem to have accepted the whole "not alone in the universe" thing rather quickly.  Dreamfasting was good to speed things along, but this relationship could have been so much deeper.  But no time for the complexities of the Gelflings!  The Podlings are here!

*Enter Star Wars Cantina Theme*

These creatures are like Fraggles before Fraggles were even imagined.  They are small pudgy things with round faces and beady eyes who love to dance and sing and play and seem not to have a care in the world.  Their design was based on potatoes to show how "of the earth" they were.  Originally, they were supposed to have misplaced eyes like potatoes, but that looked too creepy.

Anyway, Jen and Kira enjoy their feast with the Ewoks when suddenly, more Garthim crash in and start kidnapping folks left and right.  Jen manages to hold a few of them of with his crystal, but the monsters are too overpowering.  When all hope seems lost, a surprising hero steps in and allows the Gelflings to escape.  It is the skekSil the Chamberlain!

I couldn't find a picture of the above awesome scene, but rest assured, the Mystics are still walking.

Free from danger, Jen suspects the Garthim had found him again and apologizes for putting everyone in harms way.  In an angsty temper-tantrum, he wishes he had never been assigned this quest and he throws his crystal far away!  Kira tries to calm him by explaining that the Garthim often come to Endor looking for slaves, so nothing is Jen's fault.  But the stiff-faced puppet is too upset to listen and goes to sleep.

All tuckered out.

In the morning, Jen wakes up in the arms of Kira, puts one notch in the flower-bedpost, and discovers that they have made it to some decaying ruins.  Kira tells him that the Gelflings used to live here and now it's just a row of strip malls.  She also finds his crystal, so that sudden plot point was unnecessary.

On the walls, Jen spots the ancient prophecy and reads it to Kira, who has never encountered this newfangled "writing" concept before.  He realizes that he must restore the Dark Crystal by placing his shard in it.  I thought we already knew that, but in case you needed your memory refreshed, you're welcome!

"Don't...step...on...the...mome raths?"

Suddenly, the best character returns to the movie!  The Chamberlain appears and tries to speak with the Gelflings.  Kira recognizes him as a Skeksis and tries to warn Jen not to trust him.  But the pitiful creature explains that he is on their side.  He tells them that he had saved them from the Garthim before and that he has been shunned from his group.  He goes on to say that the Skeksis are all frightened of the prophecy because their existence would be erased.  He offers a sort of peace treaty in order to look out for everyone's best interest.

Remember how I said the Skeksis originally did not speak English?  Had that stayed true, this would have been the first time we heard the Chamberlain talk.  His stilted speech would become even more baby-like as he would be speaking his first words.  And since his first words are those of peace, you would have to ask yourself, would you trust him?

His own people abandoned him.  He has no family or friends.  His prophecized demise is about to occur.

Hasn't he suffered enough to earn your trust?

How could you say "no" to that face?

Find out Jen's answer tomorrow during Part 4, where we learn about the true power of the Dark Crystal!