'Tis the Season (for Shopping)

When Dinosaurs set out to create satire, the results were almost always successful and charming.  These satirical episodes were so perfectly crafted, that it seemed as if they were destined to exist.  By placing the show in the far, far past, we were able to "witness" the birth of modern concepts that we take for granted.  So when it came time for the "Christmas" episode, it was a tough line to walk.  What could be said about Christmas that hasn't been said (or parodied) countless times before?

How about commercialism?

Now, wait a minute.  Every Christmas special is about the evils of commercialism.  And in the end, Charlie Brown or whomever will reveal the true meaning of Christmas.  That its not about presents or spending, its about family and love.

Good thing the dinosaurs didn't grow up with the same specials we did.

And also, Christ wasn't born yet...

During the winter, the citizens of Pangaea celebrate "Refrigerator Day" which celebrates the miracle of refrigerators (a.k.a. the invention that allowed dinosaurs to become domesticated and no longer migratory).  Taking some pages from a few different holidays, Refrigerator Day features two days of fasting before the big feast (where all the leftovers get eaten), pageants telling the story of the holiday's origin, and presents, presents, presents!

Earl, excited for the upcoming Refrigerator Day, spends all of the family's money on presents, expecting a holiday bonus from work.  Of course, Richfield being Richfield denies him the bonus, crushing Earl's spirits (and his wallet).

Pay no mind that the Simpsons Christmas special began the exact same way.

The repercussions are swift as the repo men come to claim the Sinclairs' fridge (since the payments are half a day late and it is poetically much more meaningful this way, according to the boss).

You can't have Fridge Day without a fridge!

Earl sinks into a deep depression and contemplates hanging himself in the garage.  Christmas!  The family decide that, although they love presents, they need to get their fridge back and the gifts must be returned.  Except, the concept of a return policy hasn't been invented yet (this is prehistory, remember?) so the store doesn't know what to make of their request.  They ultimately agree to buy back the gifts at a much lower price, allowing the family to purchase a styrofoam cooler.

Even 60 million years ago, K-Mart made children cry.

The family try to keep their spirits up and reenact the first Refrigerator Day via family pageant.  As they assume the roles of dino-pilgrims, they sympathize with the early reptiles, who had to go without food for days on end.  In a delightful handwave, the actual inventions of the refrigerator is never really explained.  One day, a box was made and it happened to have a plug on it, so it could be plugged in to make food cold.  No mention of how the box worked, no hint as to where the electricity came from, just an unquestionable miracle.

But then, in true television fashion, the Sinclairs receive their own miracle!  The Kave Mart salesmen arrive to return the fridge because their boss liked the idea of a return policy so much that he needed to say thank you.  And gifts just keep getting better and better (or at least more absurd).  The store also lets them keep their presents!  And they managed to get Earl his holiday bonus!  And they brought ice cream!  And attached snow machines to the house to make it snow!  This delightful mockery of Christmas special endings is undercut by the revelation that the Kave Mart employees are distracting the Sinclairs so they can sign away the rights to the return policy idea, but who cares?!

It's Refirgerator Day and everyone should be happy!

Yay!  No one missed out on becoming millionaires!

The entire "Refrigerator Day" episode is packed with biting commentary on the hypocrisy that exists in Christmas specials.  For as much as specials try to denounce commercialism and greed, they are still promoting the month-long spendfest of western civilization.  Think about that as you hang up your Charlie Brown ornaments or put out your Grinch snow globes.  You can't escape it, so you'd might as well embrace it.

Random Muppet #21: Edward R. Hero

On the Muppet Wiki, there is a "Random Muppet" button which sends you to the page of one of the thousands of Muppets in existence. I will press the button and discuss the importance of the Muppet that comes up, no matter how obscure. No skips. No redos. This is the Random Muppet Challenge.

Random Muppet #21: Edward R. Hero

A worthy leader.

Performer:  Jason Bernard (voice), Allan Trautman (puppeteer)

Muppet Universe of Origin:  Dinosaurs

Most Significant Appearance:  Dinosaurs, March 20, 1992, "And the Winner Is..."

Our favorite prehistoric family, the Sinclairs, belatedly take their youngest offspring Baby Sinclair to the Chief Elder for a proper baby-naming ceremony.  In the middle of the ritual, the Chief Elder passes away, but not before christening the child as "Aagh Aagh I'm Dying You Idiot Sinclair."

The Chief Elder sure knows how to pick 'em.

Earl and Fran want to rename their child but until a new Chief Elder is announced, the name stays.  Earl's megalomaniac boss B.P. Richfield decides he should be Chief Elder, in order to become even more powerful than he already is.  Due to his "frightening" personality, his advisors have suggested he run against another nominee to make him seem more human... er... more dinosaur.  In order to ensure his victory, Richfield forces Earl to run against him and purposefully lose.

Earl willingly accepts this role, until he watches Richfield's interview with notable journalist Edward R. Hero.  Clearly, a country run by Richfield would be terrible for everyone save for the rich and powerful, so Earl decides he should actually try to win.  Unfortunately, he doesn't know the first thing about running a country ("It was easier when I was trying to lose," he laments), but with some helpful PR tips, he easily wins everyone's favor by playing up his family life and patriotism and avoiding the issues.

Intelligent Edward R. Hero sees through his ploy and begrudgingly continues this farce of an election campaign.  He hosts the debate between Sinclair and Richfield and it appears that no matter who wins, the country of Pangaea will lose.  During the debate, Sinclair admits that he is unfit to run the country but also reveals that he was just a plant to make Richfield look better in comparison.  Hero informs the public that, unfortunately, they must vote for one of these candidates: the monster who will destroy them or the idiot who doesn't know what they are doing.

Who is the lesser of two evils?

On election day, both candidates lose to a write-in candidate: Edward R. Hero himself.

Why Is He the Most Important Muppet?

Hero is clearly based on one of American history's best and most honest journalists, Edward R. Murrow.  With his signature "Good night, and good luck," Murrow brought the nation the facts it desperately needed with an integrity matched by few others.  His biggest addition to the political field was his criticism of Senator Joseph McCarthy and McCarthyism, which promoted fear through anti-communism, which resulted in unnecessary accusations and attacks throughout the country.  With his help, our nation was able to move away from the chaos and idiocy.

A true hero.

Of course, Hero is a fitting caricature of Murrow and his practices.  During an age where politics can be boiled down to talking heads and promotional stunts (the Paleogene age), Hero reminds us that despite what our most vocal representatives may lead us to beleive, there is still intelligence in the world.

Throughout the episode, everyone acts due to cowardice, laziness, and ignorance.  People vote for (and aid) Richfield despite his clearly harmful planned initiatives.  Others vote for Sinclair because they can relate to him and he says nice things.  For a while, it seems as if everyone has forgotten that in order for the country to work, they need to be united behind a candidate that would actually benefit the country.

In Douglas Adams' The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Adams reminds us that "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made president should on no account be allowed to do the job," because the successful drive for power also ensures an ability to abuse said power.  Thus, the Ruler of the Universe is a man without any connection or communication to the rest of the universe who doesn't even think that anything exists beyond his isolated cabin in space.

A similar scenario plays out at the end of this episode, where collectively, the Pangaeans do make the right choice and recognize that Edward R. Hero is the most capable man for the Chief Elder, especially since he didn't even try to run at all.  He has seen and experienced enough that would make him completely qualified for the job...

Or so it would seem.  His first act as Chief Elder is to rechristen little Aagh Aagh I'm Dying You Idiot Sinclair.  He decides that a better name would be "Baby."

Perfect.

As Earl finally notes, "I could have done this job!"