The Muppets Take Manhattan, Part 3: Anything Goes

There is something weird that happens when reviewing a movie like The Muppets Take Manhattan one fifth at a time.  It really shows you how disjointed the plot is.  I have seen this movie a few times before, and if I were to summarize it in a paragraph, absolutely none of the following scenes would be mentioned.  It's not that they aren't entertaining.  It's just that the things that are important to the story have been pushed to the beginning and ending edges.  While watching this film, one gets the feeling that the Muppet staff had a book full of ideas that they wanted to see the Muppets do, and now that there was no longer a show, those ideas would have to go into the movie.

So here are some hypothetical excerpts from this fictional Muppets Take Manhattan Idea Journal:

Idea #276:  3-D movies are all the rage now.  (Possible Lew Zealand Cameo?)

Kermit's first letter is from Scooter, who has found a job at a movie theater as an usher.  First we get to see Swedish Chef working the concession stand, which goes exactly as you expect it would.

Then we have an appearance by Lew Zealand, a one-note character whose whole schtick is that he only has one joke: boomerang fish.  So, of course, he loves the 3-D movie about killer fish because it allows him to "interact" with the movie.  Yeah, it's a lame set up for an even lamer joke, but that's who Lew Zealand is.

Apparently, this scene is so iconic that you can get your very own "Usher Scooter" action figure!

 

"My favorite Muppet action figure is Usher Scooter."

Idea #328:  What if Fozzie met a real bear?

In Fozzie's letter, Fozzie, unable to find work, decides to give hibernating a try.  He finds himself in a den filled with realistic-looking Muppet bears, which presents a very odd contrast with the cartoonish Fozzie.  Unfortunately, Fozzie can't sleep.  Womp, womp.

 

 That's not a bear.  Bears wear hats.

Idea #12: What if the Electric Mayhem had to play polka music?

 

I miss the Happiness Hotel.

Idea #56: Okay, so Kermit has to pretend to be a big shot producer in order to start some buzz about his Broadway play. And, like, he goes into a fancy restaurant in disguise. It's one of those restaurants where they have pictures of all the famous people who've ever eaten there on the wall. And Kermit replaces his picture with another celebrity (TBD, check our Muppet Show guest roster). And then that celebrity actually shows up and Kermit gets kicked out! Also, rats.

 

At least this disguise is more tolerable than his "boffo" agent.

So yeah, Kermit decides to start a "whispering campaign" having all the rats hide under the tables of patrons in order to subliminal work Kermit's play into their conversations. And the rats reveal themselves and everyone gets kicked out, making for another funny, yet pointless scene.

  

Oh, and they chose Liza Minnelli.

Idea #1237:  In our last movie, we had Miss Piggy ride a motorcycle.  How can we top that?

In yet another day of spying on Kermit and Jenny, Piggy's purse gets stolen and since her little puppet legs can only take her so far, she has to borrow some roller skates.  Time for an action sequence!

The skating scene I could do without, but the confrontation at the end between Kermit and Piggy with Gregory Hines acting as the supportive mediator is probably the funniest scene in the whole film.

 

"You didn't say there were huggies!"

Idea #1:  What if the Muppets were BABIES?!

Okay, so this song/scene has no bearing on the movie whatsoever, but it is so iconic and important to the franchise that it's worth making a whole movie just for this moment.  Basically, Piggy imagines the premise of Muppet Babies and it is adorable.

  

The fantastic song that spawned a regrettable genre: famous characters as babies.

We already know why this song is great, so instead check out this weird promotional music video version of the song that aired on The Merv Griffin Show.  It features homages to 2001: A Space Odyssey, Flashdance, and Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" music video, with a live action pig and frog to boot.  And Jim Henson also has a cameo as...I don't even know.

I don't know what all that extra stuff has to do with babies or love.  Seeing the pig and frog was interesting, but it kind of stepped on the whole premise of the scene, especially since the scene does just fine on it's own.  Maybe that was another idea from the big journal of ideas and they couldn't fit it into the film. (Idea #15,029: The Muppets as actual live-action animals!!!!).  In any case, the actual moment in the movie is great.  And it's the last "random" thing to occur in the film.

Yayayayay!  Bye babies, see you on CBS!

Tomorrow, we finally get back to the story, as Kermit makes significant leaps forward and loses his mind.

Unlimited Potential

Everybody loves babies.  Their big eyes and pudgy cheeks are irresistible to anybody who has a heart.  No matter the species, we find all babies to be adorable, pure, and innocent.

But most of all, we like them because they are new.  Out of nothingness, a new life is created and introduced into the world.  They lack any experiences, have yet to form memories, and are uncorrupted by the evils of the universe.  Although virtually identical upon exiting the womb, each baby will grow into a unique, fully-realized person depending on the different paths they will encounter.

No baby can choose what life they will be born into and by the time their brains are developed enough to form rational thoughts, many of their life's choices have already been made for them.  Their environment, culture and family have already begun their waves of influence over the infants.  As adults progress through their lives, they can be startled to find themselves where they are, especially since all events leading up to the present were based on choices made earlier in life.  The domino effect becomes very clear when looked at in reverse.

Take a person in your life that you care deeply about.  A friend, a partner, a lover, anyone.  Think about what circumstances led to you meeting that person.  Now imagine if that day, that moment you met them had gone differently.  Maybe if you had woken up late that day, or you were distracted by another event, or you just happened to blink and miss it when that person walked by.  You would be leading a quite different life thanks to one missed encounter.

And how about the opposite?  Suppose you had met this person sooner?  They have such an important impact on your life at the moment, would they have been as important had they been there from Day One?  This is a possibility that Miss Piggy considers after reconciling with her beloved Kermit after an argument.  In The Muppets Take Manhattan, Piggy imagines a world in which she and Kermit had known each other as babies, and she sets the stage for a world of infinite possibilities.

She believes that no matter the timeline or universe, she would have been committed in her love to Kermit.  But she does not stop at bringing the frog into her past.  The rest of their friends join them in restarting their lives.

The world's best nursery

As Baby Piggy sings about her affection, she also lists the many accomplishments she hopes to complete in her lifetime.  These range from the mundane (driving a car) to the plausible (learning to scuba dive) to the highly improbable (becoming a beautiful movie star veterinarian pilot who practices neurosurgery and has climbed the Matterhorn).  She may be naive, but she is only a baby.  To her, all of these things are equally complex and manageable.  And who is to say she's wrong?

Although we now know the life Piggy grew into, who says she could not have completed one or more (or all) of the goals on her list?

This is the question that spawned a cultural revolution for the offspring of the Baby Boomers.  Those children who were a part of Generation Y were the target audience of a new Henson production.  A cartoon based on the popularity of the infant Muppets presented in this one movie scene.  Muppet Babies was the first of its kind, taking pre-existing characters and presenting them as toddler versions of themselves to appeal to the younger generation.  While copycats came and went with varying degrees of success, what made Henson the pioneer was that his babies served a purpose.

Besides being so gosh darn cute!

These characters were not simply money-making opportunities based on brand recognition.  They also stood for a poetic and inspirational cause.  If there was one type of person Henson admired, it was the dreamer.  The creative mind who looked beyond themselves to see a greater life ahead.  People who wanted to be happy and to make others happy.  At a basic level, all dreamers need is an idea and the imagination to make that idea work.

As babies, the Muppets did not have much at their disposal.  They were confined to one room without much to keep them busy.  But they had their imaginations.  They encouraged the children at home to use their imaginations to do great things.  Thanks to them, our generation became the generation of dreamers.

Dreamers with big hearts and bigger eyes

And so, for the rest of this week, we shall return to that magical nursery for a deeper look at those lovable rugrats who could envision entire universes before naptime, the Muppet Babies.