Follow That Bird, Part 2: On the Run

After reading Big Bird's depressing letter, Snuffy decides now is the time to visit his friend and lift hist spirits.  He sends a massive postcard detailing his plans and Big Bird is overjoyed.  He shares the news with his family, but hits a roadblock when they inquire about the type of bird Snuffy is.  When Big Bird tells them the truth, they forbid Snuffy from visiting, because birds are only supposed to be friends with birds.

So, Big Bird does what anyone would do in this situation and runs away in the middle of the night.

I'm sure he'll be just fine.

Soon, the news of Big Bird's disappearance hits the airwaves and that means it's time for our first celebrity cameo! Chevy Chase appears as the anchorman and, like Steve Martin and John Cleese before him, he makes the most of his one scene.

  

Never before has saying the name "Sesame Street" been so funny.

As the Sesame Street inhabitants watch, the report is turned over to our favorite reporter Kermit the Frog who explains that Big Bird has run away and intends to head back home.

 

I'm not sure if this counts as a cameo or not.

He interviews the Dodo family who are completely distraught over the loss of their new child. Wait, I meant they are completely excited to be on television and they leave the interview in order to watch themselves on TV. Yeah, we aren't supposed to care for these characters one bit.

 

The hatred of birds among children ages 3-7 increased 500% after this movie premiered.

Kermit then interviews Miss Finch who swears to hunt down Big Bird and kill him, I mean, return him to his "proper" family if it's the last thing she does. Big Bird watches her threat on a store's television set and psychs himself up for his "three-hour" journey (because it took two hours to fly there, and he knows walking will take longer, obviously).

I miss the days when all store windows had multiple TV sets showing plot-relevant news stories.

The gang on Sesame Street decide that the best course of action will be to split up and drive across the country in order to intercept Big Bird's path. Akin to It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, we get five wacky modes of transportation to follow:

1) Gordon, Olivia, Linda, and Cookie Monster are taking Gordon's VW, because it's smart to bring a monster that devours everything in sight on a rescue mission.

2) The Count heads off in his Countmobile alone, probably because no one wants to be stuck on a 24-hour car ride with the Count.

  

That's one! One person counting out loud the entire time! Ah-ah-ah!

3) Super Grover is going to fly by himself. Um, we don't want to end up with two missing Muppets, Mr. Movie!

4) Bert and Ernie take their biplane that they always have that Ernie knows how to fly like always.

5) And Maria and Telly Monster join Oscar in his Sloppy Jalopy, which comes with Homer the Honker, since the car's horn doesn't work. Oscar's only agreeing to help because he's sure they will end up coming home empty handed. Does that mean he thinks Big Bird is going to get killed? Probably.

 This is the cool car, by the way.  Shotgun!

As the gang fans out, Big Bird continues teaching all sorts of great lessons to the viewing audience, like it's a good idea to hitchhike with random turkey farmers because they'll probably turn out to be kindly country music sensation Waylon Jennings. And he'll sing you a nice tune encouraging you to stick to your decision to run away from your home.

"Ain't No Road Too Long" is this film's "Movin' Right Along."

But lurking on the sidelines is a pair of ne'er-do-well brothers named Sam and Sid Sleaze who run a shoddy carnival that swindles kids out of their well earned nickels.  Played by Joe Flaherty and Dave Thomas of SCTV, the Sleazes get an idea as to how to increase revenue at their crappy park.  They need to get their hands on that missing bird and make him their main attraction!

Now these guys are just what Sesame Street villains would be like: pure evil without any sense of realism.

Uh-oh!  Hopefully Big Bird will manage to stay far away from these two.  Tune in tomorrow to see if he does!  (Spoiler alert: he doesn't.)

The Fascinating Species of Sesame Street: Honkers and Dingers

Scientific Classification:

Animalia Chordata Mammalia Primates Hominidae Monstrum Sonus
(Subspecies: Honkus and Dingus, respectively)

Anatomy and Physiology:

Like most Sesame Street monsters, the Honkers and Dingers are bipedal, fur-covered primates with round noses.  Both communicate entirely through producing sounds emitted from non-vocal sources.  The Honkers, which are taller and more slender than the Dingers, possess an air-filled nasal cavity that can collapse in on itself when acted upon by an outside force.  Lacking nostrils, the Honkers expell the transfered air through their sinus system and out a pair of open horns that protrude from the top of their heads, resulting in a "honking" noise.  The nose of a Honker can quickly re-inflate, allowing for a high honks-per-second ratio.

A green Honker, known as Homer Honker, has a job working as a car horn.

The horns of the Honkers grow awith the animal.  Therefore, it is possible to determine the age of a Honker by the pitch of its honks (young Honkers produce a high pitch, old Honkers produce a low pitch).

A Honker hatchling learns to honk.

(Notice that, unlike other warm-blooded animals, Honkers hatch from eggs.)

Dingers, like their cousins, also emit unique sounds from their heads.  However, this is regulates solely by a bell-shaped horn, similar in function to a table-top bell (like one that would be found on a hotel service desk).  By pressing the clapper, the bell emits a "ding."  The nature of these bells are so similar to the metallic counterparts that there is a widely believed theory that these creatures were the inspiration for such devices and the earliest bells were actually fashioned from the skulls of Dingers.

The iconic Gold Dinger, safe from Dinger-Headhunters.

Habitat:

Sources indicate that most Honkers emigrated from the Land of Honk, but no human has ever set foot in this reported country.  It is unknown if Dingers live there as well.

Currently, Honkers and Dingers live in heavily populated, urban areas, perhaps to allow the sound of their extremities to blend in with the loudness of their environment.

Behavior:

The Honkers and Dingers express all emotions through their respective sounds, rapidly pressing them ewhen excited and solftly pressing them for sadness.  It appears that the mere act of pressing ther facial instruments lifts their spirits, resulting in a boistrous cycle where the honks and dings get louder and more frequent.  Because of this aspect, many other species tend to avoid these creatures, preferring to move to quieter areas.

But not everyone is a harsh critic.

Some people, like local bath enthusiast Ernie, embrace the constant din, choosing to celebrate the chaos.

The annual Honker-Duckie-Dinger Jamboree

Humans in particular only seek out the Honkers and Dingers when their noises can be useful or tolerable, given the situation.  High-enrgy parties and other social events are very welcoming to the Honkers, while the Dingers serve a more practical function, replacing service bells and game show buzzers.

A Dinger used and abused for the purposes of slapstick comedy.

The fact that Honkers and Dingers cannot communicate with humans (outside of learning Morse Code) has brought great frustration to all species involved.  While Honkers and Dingers are accepted as part of the community with the same rights as humans, their vocal setbacks hinders them greatly.

Homer Honker learns to communicate in alternate ways when a prize is on the line.

Honkers, fortunately, have found a great ally in one of Sesame Street's odder residents, the Count.  He appreciates the sounds they make for they provide a steady rhythm and pattern for him to count with.  Honkers are known for their love of counting as well.  It appears as if they truly understand one another and take comfort in making one another happy.

Everyone has a purpose.

Perhaps the reason this species has flourished is that the music they create when they stay organized is appreciated.  Their tactical advantage for survival is bringing joy to others.  Like songbirds or the cries of whales, the cries of these creatures are beautiful and unique.  They are a valuable part of our animal kingdom.

A classic Honker tune, preserved for the ages.